First impressions and to those who don't truly know my boy, he appears loud and abrupt and frequently badly behaved. Through careful observation I have concluded that he mostly behaves in this way when he requires attention of sorts; when his needs are not being met. Having said that he does have a very sweet and sensitive side. He senses when people don't like him, he has a strong sense of justice and is fully aware when he isn't treated fairly. I genuinely believe even at his young age that I could rely on him to protect me and the girls. He's clever and possesses good common sense. He has developed skills of survival through experimentation mainly and through being permitted the space to grow. From a very young age, I have trusted my children and allowed them to take risks. I let them drink from glasses as toddlers, gave them real scissors to cut with and in the case of the boy, I've allowed him to safely make up the fire which he does perfectly and has done for several years (before you panic, if you show them how to do things properly and supervise whilst informing them of the risks, they take note. The experimentation comes when things are prohibited).
Tim and I watched Fen tending our bonfire from a distance when he was just four. He had observed carefully and pushed the ends of the burning wood in perfectly safely.
Today the young man was roaming outside. I am so fortunate to live in the country with regards to having a boy of my type. He has so much freedom. I can happily let him cycle out in several directions for two miles by himself and with friends, it's brilliant! Mostly he doesn't venture that far and if he does choose to, he does inform me first; which I am grateful for. Today he was addressing an environmental problem: Flooding. With the help of the boy next door, my young fellow had managed to dig a connecting drain from the corner of the field into the stream; thereby allowing all the flood water that had collected at the bottom end of the field, to drain into the stream. Drain it did. The boys; it seemed, had literally created a cascading waterfall which free flowed at speed into the rapidly expanding stream.
Fen is very aware when near water and sensible too. He's been fascinated by the flood water. A couple of days ago he decided to sail his new steamboat; which he received for Christmas. I popped out to encourage him and watch the moment of excitement as his boat had the freedom of a vast span of water as opposed to the limitations of the sink and bath which he had previously used. I heard him mention taking two matches to light the burner and wondered how he would cope against the wind. I don't make suggestions straight away about dealing with problems but instead allow him to actively discover for himself. It's so tempting as a parent to do things for the child. However, it is much better to allow them to work things out for themselves they actually learn so much more as a result, it can be frustrating though.
It turned out that two matches weren't enough, the wind was too strong and blew out both, I needn't have worried, Fen instantly drew his little survival tin from his pocket and pulled out another. He waited for a lul in the wind and struck lucky! I do love watching him and the way that he does things. The little boat putt putted perfectly, the smile was worth facing the elements for!
When outside working or with freedom to do as his will desires, Fen is a superstar and behaves brilliantly, he's also incredibly observant and creative with it. I just wish he had more positive male role models to imitate. A friend has suggested a local chap so I'm planning to follow up her lead in the next week or so.
As well as working on dealing with the local flooding, Fen also tried his hand at a spot of fishing. Not necessarily feeling the need to ask for his purpose made fishing pole (or retrieve it himself) he proceeded to make his own fishing rod. A little tap at the door alerted me to his presence and there he was with a jolly fine looking stick with a piece of cotton secured to one end and a leaf positioned 30 cm or so from the free end (that; it was explained, was the float (clever idea)). What he did in fact require at this point was not the pin he had in his survival kit which he informed me had a hole in it (I'm slightly embarrassed he didn't realise it was a needle!) and requested a pin with a silver head which he intended to bend into a hook and have me tie to the loose end of the cotton. Ten minutes later and my boy was fishing in the now bursting stream. I left him doing so for a while before reminding him that we haven't ever seen any fish in there!
